Objectives
By the end of this module you will be able to:
- Ask about suicide directly and kindly.
- Listen without judging, fixing, or arguing.
- Respond with care to whatever answer you hear.
Lesson
Asking does not put the idea in someone's head
Many people fear that asking about suicide will make things worse. Asking directly and caringly shows the person you can handle the truth and that they are not alone. It opens a door.
How to ask
Find a private moment. Say what you have noticed, then ask clearly:
- "I've noticed you've seemed really low since the funeral. Are you thinking about suicide?"
- "Sometimes when people are hurting this much, they think about ending their life. Are you thinking about that?"
Use the word suicide. Vague questions like "You're not going to do anything silly, are you?" make it easier for the person to say no.
How to listen
- Stay calm and let them talk. Silence is okay.
- Thank them for telling you.
- Do not argue, lecture, or promise that everything will be fine.
- Do not promise to keep it a secret. Say, "I care about you too much to keep this to myself, and I'll help you find support."
- Reflect what you hear: "It sounds like you're carrying so much since your mom died."
If they say yes
Stay with them, stay calm, and move toward help together. Ask if they are safe right now. If they are in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise, help them call or text 988 together, and see Module 4.
If they say no
Believe them, and keep the door open: "Thank you for telling me. If that ever changes, I want to know. I'm here." Keep checking in.
GGN practicePractice out loud (about 10 minutes)
Write your own version of a direct question using the word suicide. Say it out loud three times, alone or with a trusted person, until it feels steadier. Then write one sentence you could say if the answer is yes.
Fictional storyFictional Story 3.1: Keisha goes back
Keisha returns to Dana and says, "I keep thinking about what you said about not waking up. Are you thinking about suicide?" Dana cries and says she has had the thoughts but no plan. Keisha thanks her, sits with her, and asks if they can call 988 together. Dana agrees.
Discussion: Keisha named what she heard, used the word suicide, listened, and moved toward help without panicking or keeping it secret.
Reflection Prompts
- What makes asking directly hard for you?
- Who listened to you well during a hard time, and what did they do?