Grounding, Looking Around, and Gathering Supports

The five anchors are Feet, Seat, Hands, Eyes, and Breath. Any anchor can be skipped or swapped. "We'll take a few minutes to feel a little more anchored in the present. You're in charge of this. Skip anything you'd like." (pause) "Feet. If it's comfortable, notice your feet. You might press them gently into the floor, then let them rest. If feet aren't available or comfortable, notice any part of you that's touching the ground or your chair." (pause) "Seat. Notice the support underneath you. The chair, the cushion, the bed. You might let a little more of your weight be held." (pause) "Hands. Notice your hands. You could rub your palms together, press your fingertips together, or rest your hands on something with an interesting texture. What do you feel?" (pause) "Eyes. Let your eyes find three things in the room that are pleasant or neutral to look at. You can name them silently or out loud." (pause) "Breath. Now simply notice that you're breathing. No need to change it. If you'd like, let one out-breath be a little longer and slower, like a quiet sigh." (pause) "Which anchor felt most helpful today? That one is yours to use anytime." Facilitator notes: Five Anchors is a good first practice for most people. Keep the breath anchor gentle and optional. Some people find that pressing their feet or hands is most helpful; others prefer the eyes. Note the person's preferred anchor in your session record.

"If you're willing, let your eyes begin to move around the room, slowly, as if you're seeing it for the first time." (pause) "Let your head and neck turn too, if that's comfortable. Look to one side. Look to the other side. Look up a little, and down a little." (pause) "Notice if there's anything your eyes want to rest on: a color, a shape, light from a window. Let them stay there a moment." (pause) "You might notice where the door is, where the windows are, what you can hear outside." (pause) "As you look around, notice anything that changes in your body. Your breath, your shoulders, your jaw. Or nothing at all; that's fine." (pause) "And let your eyes come back to me, or to wherever feels comfortable." Facilitator notes: Looking Around is often very helpful for people who seem caught in a memory or in Storm. Online, invite the client to look around their own room. For people with low vision, listen around the room instead, through sounds, air movement, and temperature.

Offer paper and colored pens or pencils. The person may also do this verbally. "Let's make a simple map of the things that help you, even a little. There's no right way to do this." (pause) "In the middle of the page, you can write your name, or draw a small circle for yourself." (pause) "Around it, add anything that supports you. People. Places. Pets. Music. Faith. Things you do. Things about you. Things that connect you with the person who died, if that feels supportive." (pause) "You can put the things that feel closest and strongest near the center, and others farther out." (pause) "Now, choose one support on your map. Just one. Take a moment to remember it in detail. What does it look like, sound like, feel like?" (pause) "As you remember it, notice anything in your body. Maybe warmth, a softening, a small change in breath. Or nothing yet. That's fine." (pause) "Let yourself stay with that for a few breaths." (pause) "This map is yours to keep and add to. You might put it somewhere you'll see it." Facilitator notes: In early grief, people often say "I have nothing." Be patient. Even "my morning coffee" or "my dog" is a support. Do not argue if a person rejects a support.