Objectives
By the end of this module you will be able to:
- Recognize non death losses as real losses.
- Identify common non death losses.
- Understand why these losses are often overlooked.
- Validate grief for change.
Lesson
Many kinds of loss
Non death losses include losing health or a body ability, independence, a job or career, a home or homeland, a relationship through divorce or separation, a sense of safety, financial security, or a hoped for future.
Why they are overlooked
Because no one died, others may not see a reason to grieve. People may hear look on the bright side or be grateful for what you have. Even the person grieving may not realize what they feel is grief.
Grief for change
Grief is a natural response to losing something that mattered. Feelings like sadness, anger, longing, and confusion after a major change are often signs of grief.
GGN practiceWhat has changed (about 10 minutes)
List three changes in your life over the last few years. For each, write one thing you lost and one thing you miss. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.
Fictional storyFictional Story 1.1: The last shift
After thirty years as a firefighter, Ray retired. Everyone congratulated him. A month later he felt lost and sad, and he did not understand why.
Questions to consider:
- What might Ray be grieving?
- How could others help?
Discussion: Ray may be grieving his role, his team, his routine, and part of his identity. Others could acknowledge that retirement can bring loss as well as celebration and ask him what he misses.
Reflection Prompts
- Which non death losses have you experienced?
- Did you recognize them as grief at the time?
- What do you wish others had said?