Global Grief Network logoGGN Childhood and Adolescent Grief
Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 2 of 6

What Grief Looks Like in Children and Teens

About 1 hour

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988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. Moving in and out of grief
  2. Common responses
  3. When to get extra help

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Moving in and out of grief

Young people often grieve in short waves. A child may cry hard and then ask to go play a few minutes later. Some people call this puddle jumping: stepping into grief, then stepping out. It does not mean the child is over it. It is a natural way to take in a big loss in small pieces.

Common responses

Younger children may show grief through clinginess, tantrums, changes in sleep or eating, returning to earlier habits, or playing out the death with toys.

School-age children may have trouble focusing, complain of stomachaches or headaches, worry about others dying, or ask detailed questions.

Teens may pull away from family, lean on friends, show anger, take more risks, or seem fine on the outside while hurting inside.

When to get extra help

Reach out to a doctor, school counselor, or licensed professional if a young person's distress stays intense over time, if they stop functioning at home or school, if they hurt themselves, or if they talk about wanting to die. If a young person talks about suicide, call or text 988 for guidance. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

GGN reminder: Behavior is often how young people speak about grief. Before correcting a behavior, it can help to ask what feeling might be underneath it.
GGN practiceLooking beneath behavior (about 10 minutes)

Think of a recent moment when a young person's behavior frustrated you. Write down the behavior, then list two feelings that might have been underneath it. Write one calm sentence you could say next time that names the feeling. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 2.1: Priya's grades

Priya, fifteen, kept her usual smile after her grandmother died, but her grades dropped and she stopped going to practice. Her coach assumed she had lost interest.

Questions to consider:

  1. What might be happening for Priya?
  2. What could her coach do?

Discussion: Priya may be grieving quietly. Her coach could check in privately: "I noticed you have missed practice. I know your grandmother died. How are you doing?" Then listen, and let the family or school counselor know if more support seems needed.

Reflection Prompts

  1. How did you show grief as a young person?
  2. What behaviors might you have misread as something other than grief?
  3. Who in your community could offer extra support to a grieving young person?

Module 2 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.