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Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 3 of 6

Honest Conversations

About 1 hour

If you or someone you know may be in danger right nowCall 988Text 988Immediate danger: call 911

988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. Sharing the news
  2. Answering questions
  3. Including young people

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Sharing the news

When possible, a trusted adult should share the news in a calm, private place. Start simply: "I have some very sad news. Dad died today." Then pause. Let the young person respond in their own way, whether that is tears, silence, questions, or wanting to leave the room.

Answering questions

Answer what is asked, in words that fit the child's age, and then check what else they want to know. Short, true answers are better than long explanations. If you do not know, it is okay to say so: "I don't know. That is a really good question. We can wonder about it together."

Including young people

Young people often cope better when they are gently included, for example by being offered a choice about attending a funeral or memorial, after being told what they will see and hear. Offer choices, prepare them, and have a trusted adult ready to step out with them if needed.

GGN reminder: Children often sense when something is being hidden. Honest, gentle information usually feels safer to them than silence.
GGN practiceThree short answers (about 15 minutes)

Write three questions a child might ask after a death, such as Why did she die? or Will you die too? Draft a short, honest, age-fitting answer to each. Keep each answer to two or three sentences. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 3.1: Will you die too?

After her uncle died, eight-year-old Ruth asked her father, "Are you going to die too?" He wanted to say no, never, but knew that was not true.

Questions to consider:

  1. What worry might be under Ruth's question?
  2. What could her father say?

Discussion: Ruth may be worried about being left alone. Her father could say: "Everyone dies someday, but I plan to be here for a very long time. I am taking care of myself, and there are many people who love you and would take care of you." This is honest and reassuring.

Reflection Prompts

  1. What makes honest conversations about death hard for you?
  2. How comfortable are you saying I don't know?
  3. How could you include a young person in a family ritual in a way that fits them?

Module 3 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.