Objectives
By the end of this module you will be able to:
- Understand why caregiver self-care is not selfish.
- Identify practical forms of rest and support.
- Learn to accept and ask for help.
- Set gentle limits.
Lesson
Care is not selfish
A caregiver who rests, eats, and stays connected is better able to keep caring. Looking after yourself is part of looking after your loved one.
Practical support
Respite care, help from relatives and friends, community programs, faith groups, and caregiver support groups can share the load. Even short breaks, such as a walk around the block, can help.
Asking and accepting help
Many caregivers find it hard to ask. It can help to keep a list of specific tasks others can do, such as picking up groceries, sitting with the loved one for an hour, or handling a phone call. When someone says let me know how I can help, offer them a task from the list.
Gentle limits
You cannot do everything. Saying no to some requests, letting some tasks wait, and lowering expectations for a season are wise choices, not failures.
GGN practiceMy help list (about 15 minutes)
Write ten specific tasks someone else could do to help you or a caregiver you know. Keep the list on your phone or fridge, ready for the next time someone offers. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.
Fictional storyFictional Story 4.1: Let me know how I can help
Neighbors kept telling Grace, "Let me know how I can help," while she cared for her husband. She always said she was fine.
Questions to consider:
- Why might Grace say she is fine?
- How could a help list change this?
Discussion: Grace may feel she should handle everything or not know what to ask for. With a help list, she can say, "Could you pick up his prescription on Thursday?" Specific tasks make it easier for both sides.
Reflection Prompts
- What gets in the way of asking for help?
- What small rest could you take this week?
- What limit would protect your energy?