Global Grief Network logoGGN Anticipatory Grief and Caregiver Support
Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 5 of 6

When the Death Comes, and After

About 1 hour

If you or someone you know may be in danger right nowCall 988Text 988Immediate danger: call 911

988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. Grief after caregiving
  2. Losing the role
  3. Support that lasts
  4. Recovering strength

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Grief after caregiving

When the death comes, caregivers may feel sorrow, relief, emptiness, numbness, or all of these together. Even when a death was expected, it can still feel sudden and shocking.

Losing the role

After months or years of caregiving, a person may suddenly have empty days. They may miss the routines, the purpose, and even the hospital staff they came to know. This loss of role is a real part of grief.

Support that lasts

Many people receive support in the first weeks, then hear little. Checking in after a few months, on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, can mean a great deal.

Recovering strength

Former caregivers may need time to rest and attend to their own health, which they may have set aside. Encouraging check-ups and gentle routines can help.

GGN reminder: Relief after a long illness is not a betrayal. It can sit right next to love and sorrow.
GGN practiceA calendar of care (about 10 minutes)

Think of someone who has lost a loved one after a long illness. Write three dates in the coming year when you could reach out, and what you might say. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 5.1: Empty Tuesdays

For two years, Tuesdays meant appointments for Olu and her mother. After her mother died, Tuesdays felt unbearably empty.

Questions to consider:

  1. What might Olu be grieving besides her mother?
  2. What could a friend do?

Discussion: Olu is also grieving her role, her routine, and her sense of purpose. A friend could plan a Tuesday walk or meal with her, and acknowledge how much those days meant.

Reflection Prompts

  1. What did you or someone you know feel after a long illness ended?
  2. How might loss of the caregiver role show up?
  3. Which dates will you remember for someone grieving?

Module 5 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.