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Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 3 of 6

Communicating When Time Feels Short

About 1 hour

If you or someone you know may be in danger right nowCall 988Text 988Immediate danger: call 911

988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. What matters most
  2. Listening well
  3. Saying what matters
  4. Families disagree sometimes

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

What matters most

Gentle questions can open meaningful conversations: What is most important to you now? What are you hoping for? What worries you? These questions center the person rather than the illness.

Listening well

The person who is ill may want to talk about dying, or may not. Follow their lead. If they bring up death, try not to rush to reassure them. Listening without changing the subject can be a deep gift.

Saying what matters

Many people find comfort in expressing love, thanks, apology, or forgiveness while there is still time. There is no script. A few honest words, a letter, or a quiet moment of holding hands can all carry meaning.

Families disagree sometimes

Family members may have different hopes, beliefs, or ways of coping. Some want to talk; others cannot yet. Patience and naming shared love can help families stay connected through disagreement.

GGN reminder: You do not have to say everything perfectly. Being present is itself a way of saying you matter to me.
GGN practiceWords I want to say (about 15 minutes)

Write a short note to someone you love, saying one thing you are grateful for and one thing you want them to know. You may share it, keep it, or simply notice how it feels to write it. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 3.1: Changing the subject

When his mother said, "I don't think I have much time left," David quickly said, "Don't talk like that, you will be fine." She went quiet.

Questions to consider:

  1. What might his mother have needed?
  2. What could David say instead?

Discussion: She may have wanted to talk honestly. David could say, "That sounds really hard. Do you want to tell me what you are thinking about?" and then listen.

Reflection Prompts

  1. What conversations have you had, or wished you had, with someone who was ill?
  2. What makes it hard to listen when someone talks about dying?
  3. What would you want to hear from people you love?

Module 3 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.