Global Grief Network logoGGN Ambiguous Loss and Unresolved Grief
Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 2 of 6

Missing Loved Ones

About 1 hour

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Lessons in this module
  1. Waiting without answers
  2. Both hope and grief
  3. How others can help

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Waiting without answers

When someone is missing, families may live for years without knowing what happened. Each phone call or news story can bring a surge of hope or dread. Their lives may organize around searching.

Both hope and grief

Families often feel pressure to either keep hoping or to accept a loss. Many find it helps to hold both: I will keep hoping, and I am also grieving what I have lost. Neither cancels the other.

How others can help

Avoid telling families what to believe. Ask how they are doing, remember the missing person's name and birthday, help with practical tasks, and support any rituals they choose, such as lighting a candle on a special day.

GGN reminder: You do not have to choose between hope and grief. You can carry both.
GGN practiceBoth and statements (about 10 minutes)

Write three sentences that begin with I hope and continue with and I also grieve. Read them aloud. Notice how it feels to hold both. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 2.1: The empty chair

Daniel's sister Lia went missing four years ago. His family still sets a place for her at holiday meals. Some relatives say it is time to move on. Daniel feels torn.

Questions to consider:

  1. What might Daniel need from his relatives?
  2. How can the family hold both hope and grief?

Discussion: Daniel may need relatives to respect the family's ritual and to speak Lia's name. The family can keep hoping while also allowing themselves to grieve, perhaps by sharing memories at the table.

Reflection Prompts

  1. How do you balance hope and grief in your life?
  2. What rituals might comfort a family of a missing person?
  3. What words should supporters avoid?

Module 2 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.