Global Grief Network logoGGN Grief in the Workplace
Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 2 of 6

What to Say and What to Avoid

About 1 hour

If you or someone you know may be in danger right nowCall 988Text 988Immediate danger: call 911

988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. Simple words help
  2. Phrases that can hurt
  3. Follow their lead
  4. Privacy and culture

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Simple words help

You do not need eloquent words. Try: "I am so sorry about your mom." "I have been thinking about you." "I am glad you are back. Let me know if anything would help." A card signed by the team can also mean a lot.

Phrases that can hurt

Some common phrases, though well meant, can feel dismissive: "Everything happens for a reason," "At least they lived a long life," "I know exactly how you feel," or "Are you over it yet?" It is usually better to acknowledge than to explain or compare.

Follow their lead

Some people want to talk about their loss at work; others want work to be a break from it. You can say, "I am here if you ever want to talk, and I am also happy to just get on with our project."

Privacy and culture

Grief practices and mourning periods differ across cultures and faiths. Ask before sharing news with others, and respect the person's choices about what is shared.

GGN reminder: Saying something simple and kind is almost always better than saying nothing.
GGN practiceMy three sentences (about 10 minutes)

Write three short sentences you could say to a grieving coworker. Read them aloud and check that none of them explain, compare, or rush the grief. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 2.1: At least

When Mei shared that her pregnancy had ended in loss, a coworker said, "At least you can try again." Mei went quiet for the rest of the day.

Questions to consider:

  1. Why might this have hurt?
  2. What could the coworker say instead?

Discussion: The phrase minimized a real loss. The coworker could say, "I am so sorry. That is a real loss," and leave room for Mei to share or not.

Reflection Prompts

  1. What words have comforted you in grief?
  2. Which phrases have you used that you might change?
  3. How can you learn about a coworker's cultural or faith practices respectfully?

Module 2 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.