Objectives
By the end of this module you will be able to:
- Describe the main kinds of professional and community support available to grieving people.
- Explain the difference between a referral and a warm connection.
- Help someone overcome practical barriers to getting help.
- Know which national lines to share in the United States and how to find local help elsewhere.
Lesson
Many doors, one purpose
There is no single "right" place to start. What matters is that the person reaches someone qualified who can take a closer look. Common doors include:
| Kind of help | What it can offer |
|---|---|
| Primary care doctor or clinic | A trusted first stop. Can check physical health, sleep, and medications, and refer to mental health care. |
| Licensed mental health professionals | Psychologists, licensed counselors, clinical social workers, licensed marriage and family clinicians, psychiatrists, and psychiatric nurse practitioners can assess and treat mental health conditions. Some specialize in grief or trauma. |
| Grief support groups | Peer support from others who have experienced loss, often through hospices, funeral homes, faith communities, or community organizations. |
| Hospice bereavement programs | Many hospices offer grief support to families after a death. |
| Faith and spiritual leaders | Comfort, ritual, meaning, and community. Many can also help connect people to professional care. |
| Employee assistance programs (EAPs) | Many employers offer confidential short-term counseling and referrals at no cost to the employee. |
| Crisis lines | Immediate support at any hour. Covered fully in Module 5. |
National lines worth knowing (United States)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, and available 24/7. You do not have to be suicidal to call; people reach out about emotional distress, substance use, and loneliness, among other reasons. Veterans and service members can dial 988 and then press 1.
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (1-800-662-HELP). Free, confidential, 24/7 treatment referral and information for mental health and substance use concerns, in English and Spanish.
- FindTreatment.gov: a confidential website from SAMHSA for locating mental health and substance use treatment in the United States.
- Emergency: 911.
Outside the United States, look up your country's emergency number and national crisis line in advance, and keep them in your phone.
Referral versus warm connection
A referral is handing someone a phone number. A warm connection is helping them actually reach the person on the other end. Warm connections work better for someone who is exhausted, overwhelmed, or ashamed. Ways to make a connection warm:
- Offer to sit with them while they make the call or fill out an online form.
- Help them write down what they want to say: "My husband died in March. I haven't been sleeping, and I feel hopeless most days."
- Offer a ride to the first appointment, or to wait in the car.
- Ask permission before contacting anyone on their behalf, unless there is an emergency.
- Follow up: "How did the appointment go? Do you want to keep looking?"
Clearing the path
Practical barriers stop many people. You can help with:
- Cost: ask about insurance coverage, sliding-scale fees, community clinics, hospice bereavement programs, EAPs, and faith-based or nonprofit groups.
- Finding the right fit: it is fine to look for someone with grief experience, someone who shares or respects their culture or language, or someone of a particular gender. It is also fine to try someone else if the first person is not a good fit.
- Waiting lists: encourage them to get on a list and to use their doctor, support groups, and 988 in the meantime.
- Logistics: childcare, transport, time off, and online options.
GGN practiceBuild Your Lantern Card (about 15 minutes)
Make a pocket or phone card so that help is easy to find when it is needed. Do this on a calm day. At the top, write: "988: call or text, any time. 911: immediate danger." Add your own or your loved one's primary care doctor's phone number. Add one or two local grief support options, such as a hospice bereavement program, a community grief group, or the GGN app's community spaces. Add your employer's employee assistance program number if you have one. Add the SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, for treatment referral and information. Add the names and numbers of two trusted people you could call. Save a photo of the card in your phone, and consider making one for someone you are supporting, with their permission. Notes: Check that numbers are current every few months. Outside the United States, replace the national lines with your local emergency and crisis numbers.
Fictional storyFictional Story 4.1: Grace and the waiting list
Grace, 55, has been caring for her friend Linh since Linh's son died by suicide five months ago. Linh agreed to see a counselor, but the first two practices Grace called had six-week waiting lists. Linh says, "Maybe it's a sign I'm not supposed to do this." Questions to consider:
- How can Grace keep the bridge open?
- What other doors could help while Linh waits?
- What should Grace listen for, given the kind of loss Linh has experienced?
Discussion: Grace can reassure Linh that waiting lists are common and not a sign. She can help Linh get on a list, ask her doctor for other options, and look for support groups specifically for people bereaved by suicide, which are offered by a number of community and national organizations. She can make sure Linh knows that 988 is available any time. People bereaved by suicide may themselves face increased risk, so Grace should feel comfortable asking Linh directly about suicidal thoughts.
Reflection Prompts
- If you needed help tomorrow, would you know whom to call? What would make it easier?
- Think of a time someone helped you get somewhere you were nervous to go. What did they do that helped?
- What practical barrier do you think is most common in your community? What could reduce it?