Objectives
By the end of this module you will be able to:
- Recognize losses others may not see as significant.
- Understand grief for pregnancy loss, pets, and other overlooked losses.
- Respond without minimizing.
- Make space in families and workplaces.
Lesson
Losses others may minimize
Some losses are not seen as significant: pregnancy loss, infertility, the death of a pet, the death of a former spouse, a patient or client, or a celebrity or public figure who meant a lot. People may hear it was only or you can always.
Why these losses matter
What a loss means depends on the bond and the hopes connected to it. A pet may have been a daily companion. A pregnancy may have carried a whole imagined future. Minimizing can deepen grief.
Making space
Acknowledge the loss directly, avoid comparisons, and ask what would help. Workplaces can offer flexibility for losses that fall outside formal leave policies.
GGN practiceReplace the minimizer (about 10 minutes)
Write three minimizing phrases you have heard, such as at least or it was only. Next to each, write a caring replacement. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.
Fictional storyFictional Story 4.1: The empty bed
After her dog of fourteen years died, Mira struggled to get out of bed. A coworker said, You can always get another dog. Mira stopped talking about it at work.
Questions to consider:
- How did the comment affect Mira?
- What could the coworker have said?
Discussion: The comment minimized Mira's bond. The coworker could have said: Fourteen years is a long time together. I am so sorry. Would you tell me about her?
Reflection Prompts
- Which losses have you seen minimized?
- How do you respond when someone shares a loss you do not fully understand?
- What could your workplace do differently?