Global Grief Network logoGGN Anticipatory Grief and Caregiver Support
Global Grief Network Education Center
Module 1 of 6

What Is Anticipatory Grief?

About 1 hour

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988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States. It is free, confidential, and open 24/7 by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988 then press 1. Outside the US, use your local emergency number or crisis line. This program is education, not crisis care. If you are struggling as you read, please pause and reach out now.

Lessons in this module
  1. Grief that begins early
  2. Many losses at once
  3. Mixed feelings are normal
  4. It does not use grief up

Objectives

By the end of this module you will be able to:

Lesson

Grief that begins early

Anticipatory grief is the grief we feel before a loss happens, when we know or fear that someone we love is going to die or is changing in ways that mean losing parts of them. It can begin with a diagnosis, a decline in health, or memory changes.

Many losses at once

Caregivers often grieve many smaller losses along the way: shared plans, conversations, roles in the family, independence, and the future they imagined. Each of these losses is real and deserves acknowledgment.

Mixed feelings are normal

Sadness, fear, guilt, anger, numbness, tenderness, and even moments of relief can all appear. Some caregivers feel guilty for wishing the suffering would end. That wish usually comes from love and exhaustion, not from a lack of care.

It does not use grief up

Grieving ahead of time does not mean there will be no grief later. Some people feel more prepared; others are surprised by how strong their grief is after the death. Both are normal.

GGN reminder: If you are grieving someone who is still alive, you are not doing anything wrong. Your heart is responding to real losses.
GGN practiceNaming the losses (about 10 minutes)

Write a short list of the losses you or someone you support has already experienced during an illness or decline, beyond the possible death itself. Next to each, write one word for how it feels. If this brings up pain, pause and reach out to someone you trust, or call or text 988.

Fictional storyFictional Story 1.1: Mixed feelings

Sam had cared for his wife through a long illness. One night he caught himself thinking he wished it were over, then felt deep shame.

Questions to consider:

  1. Where might Sam's thought come from?
  2. What might help him?

Discussion: Sam's thought likely comes from love, exhaustion, and wanting his wife's suffering to end. Naming this as a common caregiver experience, and talking with a trusted friend or support group, may ease his shame.

Reflection Prompts

  1. What losses have you noticed before a death in your own life?
  2. Which feelings in this module feel familiar?
  3. Who could you talk with about mixed feelings?

Module 1 Quiz

Choose one answer per question, then check your answers. You need 4 of 5 correct to pass, and every critical item must be correct. You can retake it any time.